For others, it means increased aggressiveness, like arguing with friends or co-workers or even picking fights with strangers. For lots of men, this means increased alcohol or drug use. Unhealthy CopingĪs a result of guilt, shame and anger, some men engage in self-destructive coping mechanisms after being sexually assaulted. Feelings of shame, confusion and self-blame leave many men suffering in silence after being sexually assaulted. The percentage of male victims is even lower. The fact is that only 5 to 20% of all victims of sexual assault actually report the crime. Survivors may find it helpful to remind themselves that they did what seemed best at the time to survive-there’s nothing unmasculine about that.īecause of these factors, few men seek help or support after being sexually assaulted.
These feelings are normal but the thoughts attached to them are not true. Some male survivors experience their assault as a loss of manhood and are disgusted with themselves for not successfully preventing or stopping the assault. The need to deny the existence of male sexual assault is partly rooted in the mistaken belief that men are immune to being victimized, they should be able to fight off any attacker if they are a “real man.” A closely related belief is men can’t be forced into sex they either desire sex or do not engage in it and have complete agency to determine when to act. Many male survivors may question whether they deserved or somehow wanted to be sexually assaulted because, in their minds, they failed to defend themselves. Unfortunately, these beliefs can also increase the pain that is felt by a male survivor of sexual assault, leading to intense feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy for a male survivor of sexual assault. These mistaken beliefs about masculinity and sexual violence are deeply ingrained in most of us and can cause many men to feel safe and invulnerable and to think of sexual assault as something that only happens to women. We’re raised to believe men should be able to defend themselves against any attack and they should be willing to risk their lives or severe injury to protect their pride and self-respect. Confidential RSVP counselors available 24/7Įmail or call 31 (Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.)Ģ4/7 emergency via Provident WashU (31), WUPD (31) or SARAH peer counseling during the academic year (31).įor most men, the idea of being a victim is difficult to handle.
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